On the search for adventure, or a good adventure book

I can't say why, but winter always brings a need for me to have a big long adventure/fantasy book. Most of the year I'm not really big on that kind of book, but when its cold out, I find myself scouring my, my brother, and my fathers bookshelfs for the biggest, longest book I can find, hopefully with magic or adventure or villages or at least a princess. My bookshelf dates back to when I was in second grade, and I havn't updated much since then, seeing as I prefer libraries, and the only time I take a book back home to keep is if its sitting in a cardboard box marked:

"Free Books! Pleaz take!"

If someone dares spell please like that obviously they don't have much use for books and it makes me feel like I'm saving orphaned children from a neglected life sitting on a dusty old shelf.

Anyways,  I digress from the point (a terrible habit I have no intentions of dropping). Next I search to my brothers bookshelf. He too, hasn't updated his bookshelf in a while, but for an entirely different reason- he doesn't like to read (I know what you're thinking- the horror!). So, on his bookshelf you will find 3 types of books; Ones he had from 4th grade, such as Artemis Fowl, the Alex Rider series and so on; Books that were brought as gifts from relatives who mean well or from my parents who really want him to read; Or mandatory reading books, such as Romeo and Juliet and The Scarlett Letter- old copies from his school that are falling apart and that the consequences are so great if I touch them I don't find it worth it.

Lastly, I head to my father's room, my last hope. As I stand on a chair scanning his shelfs, I see unfamaliar, uninteresting and in some cases unpronouncable tittles. Smith's Recognizable Patters of Human Malfunction, Mechanisms of Microbial Disease, A Simplified Approach to Electrocardiography, and Freakanomics. Boring-wait, what? Freakonomics, the tittle sounds familiar.

So, I grab the orange harcover book off the shelf, where it obviously hasn't been moved for a while because it sprinkles dust on the floor, and head off.

Maybe I didn't get my fantasy book, but it's better than nothing.

If No One Stops Me...

This week I read 13 Reasons Why. It's about a girl named Hannah who sends out 13 audiotapes to the people who in someway influenced her to commit suicide. Its from the point of person number 9, and we listen to his thoughs and conversations, and alternatly going from him to Hannahs words which are writtien in italics.

Spoiler Paragraph, Please Skip This Section of the Post if You Haven't Read the Book and Would Like to.
This post is based on the last side of the last audiotape, which is the big *twist* in the story. Hannah goes to Mr. Porter, the school guidance counselor, and tells him shes considering committing suicide. And, after talking for a few minutes he tells her to move on from the problems shes facing, that there's nothing she can do. Shes says, Okay she will, and she's done. Done with life. Done with everything. And Mr. Porter lets her walk out those doors, he doesn't make any moves to stop her.

Continue Here
This was so confusing. Honestly, if I knew anyone was considering suicide I'd stop them. I don't care who it is, I would try to save their life, wouldn't you? Even the person I hate the most I would try to stop her/him from dying- from taking their own life. Maybe thats all some people need, just another person telling them not to do it, not to end their life. To know their needed or wanted may just be enough.

It reminds me of the song, "Leave Before the Lights Come on" by the Arctic Monkeys. The video is of this woman, who stands on a roof, contemplating suicide. She drops her left shoe on a man, giving him a chance to look up, know what she's doing, to save her. And of course, he does, as everyone will say they would. It ends up all she wants is attention, love from someone, something he can't give- he's engaged, and not interested in her that way. She follows him, trying to get him to love her and to want her, but he doesn't. So, she runs back to that very same building and repeats... She stands, looks down, and drops her left shoe...
If you want to watch it here's the link- you may not like the song but just watch the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEukS2YN9B8&feature=related

I've kind of felt like we all consider it at some points, but a second later I'm just like "God no, Im not ready to die! There's nothign in my life worth dying over. I can't believe I even thought that for a second- There so much more, so much I'll miss, so many people I'll miss- Plus I bet death is boring." Before I read this book I though suicide was just quitting. But now I realized how wrong I am. Sometimes people just can't bare living anymore, and they think anything would be better. Sometimes people think they're doing other people a favor, they feel everyone wants them dead. Sometimes all they need is someone there to stop them. The thought that someone would just ignore such a blatant plea for help makes me sick. It's like assisted suicide, even murder, knowing someone will kill themselves and not stopping it.

Maybe he didn't think he could stop her? But the fact that she was still alive that day meant that she wasn't fully ready... Maybe I'm just makign excuses for him?

But maybe there's something I don't know, a point or idea I hadn't thought of. Maybe there's some reason you can think of that someone wouldn't stop Hannah from killing herself.

Would you stop someone if you could? And if you don't, is that like murder?

If you or someone you know is or may be considering suicide, please call 1-800-SUICIDE, 212-532-2400, 1-800-273-TALK. There is treatment, and you can help stop someone from commiting suicide, or even stop yourself.

So... Wow. I have no tittle.

   This week, I re-read Sold by Patricia McCormic (twice). Honestly I don't even know how to respond to this book. My first reaction would get my blog censored (For curses- don't get the wrong idea, becuase honestly, even though there was a LOT of sex in this book, it wasn't written in a vulgar or perverted manor). It got me so mad, even the "happy ending."

*Hi, there are spoilers there, so go away if you havn't read it- also I'm going to refer to characters by name, so you won't get it. I'm seriously doing border patrol right now, and if you don't follow my requirments GO HOME or go read Sold*

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How is it happy at all? Sure, she gets away after being scarred for life, and having to leave her only friend, the only person who means anything to her anymore. After a year of being a sexual slave, she goes to a maybe happy ending. It leaves me wondering, about so much. We're obviously supposed to assume that Mumtaz was lying about the Americans, and that they were truly nice people who were there to save anyone who was willing to leave. We're left to assume Lakshmi is okay, now that she has come for help from the Americans.

But how do we? How do we know what becomes of Lakshmi once she steps out of the brothel? This book was amazing, and ispiring, but the end is something of which I despise. Almost like a choose your own adventure ending. It leaves you wondering and wanting so much more. I want to know what happens to Lakshmi, and where she ends up after it's all said and done. Does she end up in a safe house, or perhaps on the streets, like Mumtaz promised would happen. When the americans come back, will anyone venture after her, inspired by her courage to leave? Will Mumtaz's brothel be shut down, or will she continue on, paying off anyone who needs to "look the other way." Will the policemen continue to be discusting spine less money-hungry savages who will let anything become of these girls for a few extra rupees?

I suppose you could have a different view of the ending though. You could be glad you're left to imagine, left with some hope that Lakshmi, and all the other girls will be a-okay - but come on, we know they won't- its realistic fiction, not fantasy.)

So I guess really as I'm sitting here writing this, I'm trying to figure out what comes next for Lakshmi. And also I find myself thinking, if this is Social Justice based book, what is it asking from me? 

What can I do anyways?

I feel like this.

When they're like this. 

I feel poweless.

While they have so much power they're nearly unstoppable.

What can I do? What can yo do? How can we stop this alone, when they're banded together- and even still, how can we stop it together?

1 life, 1 planet, hundreds of ballpoint pens

I was reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (time number 3) on the train platform a couple days ago. I was pretty much lost in the book, when some guys I didn't know came over, to strike up some pleasant conversation about "How fiiiine you look, but nah nah nah for me, my fren ova there thinks you lookin niiice girl. You got a boyfreeen?"Anyways, I sort of ignored them completely partially becuase most of that sentence was not english. This, which they thought to be profoundly rude, triggered one of them asked me what my book was about and "why it so good you can't even talk to no body, en gid no loove to the main?" before walking away. Which sort of got me wondering, why was my book so good? And WHAT was it about?
I guess you could say the book was about a man who lived on earth whose alien friend saved him before the planet blew up and ten lead him on multiple misadventures to other planets and in other spaceships with a comical cast of aliens such as Zaphod Beeblebrox, and Marvin. Then they discover the infinitely large planet on which planets are created, get in some trouble with genius mice... and I don't need to go on.
But that sort of doesn't capture any of the wit and well writing. Plus with a story like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, there's a lot more. It's like there's a hundred plots, not just one. And to answer why it was so good... There's a number of reasons;

• The writing is so witty
• It's random- but not in the obvious trying to be random sense
• It's never boring
• It's hard to keep up- no matter how many times you read it
• Its So funny- which should count as like 4 points
• It's spacey-futuristic without being nerdy or lame
• All of the space stuff makes sense ^ not like a magical never ending pony lazer beam that runs on tears (I actually read a book with that in it)
• It's So funny
• There are tons of little side stories that are as interesting as the main ones. (Like Veet Vojagig and his quest to find all the ballpoint pens hes ever lost)
• Its So funny
• The names are lame in an amazing spacetacular way - Veet Vojagig, Trillian, Zaphod, and Slartibartfast.
• It's real sarcastic and witty in a deadpan sort of way
• It's... So... Funny

 And of course, it has an interesting main plot. But still in all of that list, I havn't even begun to think of all the things that make my book good... What do you think? What makes a book so good? Or so bad? That's right... I challenge you to think and respond.

No Matter what You're Doing, it's Still There

The book I'm reading is called Wherever Nina Lies by Lynn Weingarten. Its about a 16 year old girl, named Ellie, whose sister disappeared 2 years ago. Since then, Ellie has been searching for that sister Nina. It's about her not giving up, no matter what happens.

When Ellie meets Sean, at a party, the instantly connect, and when Sean finds out Ellie's story, he offers to help, saying;

"There are some things a person just never gets over, that the phrase 'get over' doesn't really apply to. And when one of those things happens in your life, it doesn't matter how much time has passed, or if you're sitting alone in your room in in a party surrounded by a hundred people, and it doesn't matter if you're actually thinking about it or not because no matter where you are or what you're doing, it's still there. It's not just something that happened. It's become part of you."

After I read this line, I kind of just closed the book and thought for a few minutes. I heard the noises around me faintly, and they sounded far away. I felt like I wasn't there, but looking at myself. The way different things have become a part of me, thinking what and where I'd be if my life hadn't gone the exact way it did. As if every single part of me was caused by something else, and something else and something else. It made me think, It makes sense people believe in God. This couldn't just be a big coincidence. It seems so perfectly planned out, it couldn't possibly just be us, living as us, doing for us, all affecting each other in ways we didn't know, by coincidence. I remembered how earlier in the book Sean had said that it was obvious that the plan for them to meet was written long long before the were born.

This idea is so old, and so new. I've before thought to myself if I was making my own choices, or if someone else was. If I was controlled by myself, or just someone's puppet. I fantasized, maybe I was the character in a book. (Then I stopped thinking about that, hoping my book was one with a happy ending.) The idea of myself not knowing what my future is, but someone else knowing, someone else deciding who I'll meet and what I'll do and the promises I'll make, the ones i keep and the ones I don't, kind of disturbed me. If there is a God or a puppet-masterI hope he has what's best for me in mind.

I read on after a few more moments, but as I read, I thought about this character in this book, her motives, her reasons for what she does and what shes done. How Nina's disappearance affected. How she may be wondering whether her desicions are her own. Whether Sean realy truly believes in fate and destiny and all things corny, and believes that that is the true reason he met Ellie. What makes their connection so true, if its just a scripted scene in a play. If we're all actors in a pre-written story, is there any point to live it. Many people have said that they'd prefer death to life without freedom, but according to this idea, we really have no freedom. Or if we should just enjoy what we have- which is a world as close to freedom for many as it will get, and think not of this until it truly matters.

I think this book is playing with these ideas, ideas of people, and the choices they make, and what makes them make these choices, and if they really make them at all and the worlds just one big coincidence, of it maybe, some one else, somewhere else is calling the shots.

A letter to things that completely irratate me.

Dear Things,

I have noticed lately many of you have required a completely irritating demeanor. I would just like to call some of you out on it, so you know where we stand.

Clips. (For hair, paper and other things)
The first thing: You have a obnoxious tendency to get lost very easily. Though there is a impossibly huge number of you in the world, I find myself constantly buying more of you. Instead of falling on the ground and disappearing, perhaps you could stay in my hair, or on my paper.
Another thing: Why are you never big enough to hold what i need to? As hard as I may pull you open and clip you down, you're completely unable to contain more than 2 strands of hair or 3 papers. It seems as if your rather useless if you can do that
A specific note to binder clips
(the large black ones)
I strain my fingers over and over trying to open you by pushing down on your stupidly shaped metal wings. Well no more. If i really wanted, i could use staples. Or tape. If i was really desperate, a rubber band. Are you losing your job security? You should be. You could easily be replaced. Think about that.

More obnoxious things later, I need a nap.

Fade

I just finished Fade by Lisa McMann. Its a fantasy book, or so i think. Its the kind of book that is so welll written it seems that it could be real life. I didn't really realise untill right now that it WASN'T realistic fiction. Its a short book, the sequel to Wake, about a girl named Janie who can slip into other peoples dreams. Did i say can? Is forced to everytiem someone in the same room as her falls asleep. SHe tumbles out of her world into theirs. And, she has the power to help, to fix nightmares, give the dreamer a change. But more than it beign about that, its about her live for her boyfriend, and whether he can move past all the side affects of her abilities.

Cabel (her boyfriend) claims hell love her froever, but Janies not so sure. She knows he loves her now, but she also knows in a few years everything could change. This brings up a serious question. Can love REALLY defy all odds? I hope so. I imagine thats what we should think, but thats one of those things thats so hard to be sure about. Janie knows that it'll be hard for her to accept the side affects, and she just doesn't know if she can trust Cabel with her heart.

This then brought me to another question. Is there anyone who will actually definately love Janie after it's all said and done? Her mother is a cruel jobless alchoholic, she doesn't know her father, and the only person who knows her secret is Cabel, and her boss. The only place that she'd be safe from dreams is complete isolation, and she's scared that that'll be her pnly option. Shes stuck, with hardly any choices and none of them easy.

It's a really thought-provoking book, and it made me re-think some things I thought i knew. Before this book if you asked me "Can love conquer all?" I'd say " I think so." Now, I say "I HOPE so."

ELA Responce Freak Show

I had been eying the book Freak Show by James St. James for a while. I had read the blurb at least 20 times, a story about a gay, cross dressing boy who moves to some swampy, all-white-republican, play-by-the-rules town in Florida. I finally decided to grab the book on my way out of the library, hoping for a interesting book. I was wrong. This book isn't just INTERESTING. It was as if you had taken the life of this boy, and autopsied it. To be completely honest, I cried. Books haven't made me really just bawl since I read Esperanza Rising in fourth grade. It was easy to guess from the first page that Billy was going to have hard times. But the book wasn't ever predictable.

As I read through this book I noticed again, I couldn't find any Archetypes to drop Billy or his straight (?) love-interest Flip into. The storyline of this book was like a complicated dance. The charecters spun and wove themselves around in circles, back and forth. It didn't always revolve around Billy. Not always, just usually. I don't know if Billy is quite a Hero, but he's definitely a winner. He wins the respect of his peers. He wins in his goal of shaking up the super conservative school. He wins in become a super hero, to him and his few, true, friends.

But no. Billy DOESN'T always win. Because that just not realistic. He endurs 10, good fabulous outfits (at least) ruined, or mocked, hundreds of threats, bulllying, threats he'll burn in Hell (brought on by the Bible Bells, the all christian, faithful students, who tourture Billy in there own religious ways) and much more loss. However, with him he has two friends. One who he happens to want to be much more than friends.

*Here Comes A Spoiler. So You Might Want To Stop Reading Here And Actually Go Read Freakshow*

Then comes the fateful kiss with Flip. I'm not going to ruin anymore than i have to, so I won't go on to say what happens next. I will tell you that i jumped up and screamed when this happened, then i ran around my house in excited circles for a few moments. But wait, we think. Flip isn't gay. He's super straight infamous football hero, known for his amazing last minute flip, in which he caught the ball and won the game. Why is he kissing Ultra-Gay, amazing Billy? *more spoiler that would've ruined my life if someone told me before i read the book.* Don't think: It's love that turns straight boys gay. Flip isn't gay. He abandons Billy there, and they hardly ever talk again through the book. This is where I cried. Hard. I felt myself being Billy. Right when I let my guard down and finally kiss Flip, he leaves. Until this point, Flip was my Hero. But now. Not so much. It just goes to show, good stories dont let any character fall into and archetype. Except maybe shapeshifter...

Its Definitley Fall...

It's the most unsurpassed time of the year. Its full of inspiration people seem to just ignore it, pretend its just there. Consider it just a bridge between seasons, and not one worth look out on. We dont apreciate the way the sun shines down, but doesnt redden out skin. The way the clouds crowd in the sky jut so. The chilly rainy days that can inspire whole novels, and the beatiful warmer days, that can inspire life. In fall, sure we talk about leaves, the green ones, the red ones, the orangey colors splashing about playfully on treetops, lighting the whole city on fire, casting a brighter glow than the sun. But honestly. Leaves aren't enough to define a whole season. You can say you don't like Fall, or leaves, but its my prefered season. None can ever compare. Ever. Were leaving behind those sweltering days, and as the wind blows it brings in a bit of chill. We can wear our sweaters, but we don't yet need our heavy down coats. We can snuggle under a blanket, or go outside and enjoy the weather. its the absolute perfect time of year, if not at least compromise between all 4 seasons. And it gives us so much to write about. I just can't understand how we don't apreciate this perfect time of year.

Chapter One ELA peice (collaboration with Nina and Janée)

“Excuse me! Sir? Do you have a reservation?” Trudy shuffled the papers on her desk nervously. There was something off about the tall man in the dark suit standing before her. The motel doors closed slowly behind him, letting in a blast of cold air and rain that made Trudy shiver behind her receptionist’s desk.

“No.” He said marching by, slapping a business card on her desk. “Charge any fees to the company.” He grabbed the upper arm of the woman standing next to him. Her face was contorted with fear and pain, but Trudy could tell she was absolutely stunning. By the length of her skirt- the amount of fabric it clearly took, she assumed she was relatively upper-class. Trudy’s on dress was a bit shorter and thinner due to the fabric rationing brought on by the recent World War II. The man took her down the hall and Trudy looked on after her. The woman turned back and caught Trudy’s eye, just for a second. She looked familiar, something about her face reminded Trudy of her own daughter, Rosalyn.

“We have no vacancies!” Trudy lied, looking down the hallway. They were only a few doors down, and Trudy knew they could hear her, but the tall dark haired figure ignored her.

After a moment’s hesitation, Trudy stood up and followed the couple down the hall. She walked as quietly as she could, and the man never turned back. When the two stopped in front of an empty one-bed room, Trudy pressed herself against a potted fern. She wasn’t as young as she used to be, and she hoped her newfound tummy didn’t stick out from behind the tree.

“Melinda, please.” The man coaxed. His hand played with the charms dangling from Melinda’s bracelet. She pulled her hand back, looking repulsed. The name Melinda triggered something in the back of Trudy’s mind, but she couldn’t tell what. Perhaps an old school mate? She thought. But no, the woman was at least 10 years younger. Trudy shook away the thought, and watched with renewed interest as the woman spoke.

“No Mack. You are not Andy. You will never be him. Please, just leave me alone.” She began to walk away, but he grabbed the back of her small flapper dress’s skirt. The material pulled her back into place. She turned around, her eyes widening.

“Melinda.” Mack said slowly and calmly, as if explaining to a small child. “You and I are MEANT to be together. There is a reason Andrew died! I promise you, with all of my heart, I will never ever desert you like he did. I will never let you go. I will do my best to make you happy. For ever, it is my pledge.”

“You promise that? If that’s true, let me GO! I do not want to be with you! Please let me go.” She pulled with all her might and suddenly, Mack’s face grew cold, stone-like. He pulled her close. His voice grew lower and his words became sharp. Trudy couldn’t hear his exact words, but he knew there was a threat along the lines. He motioned to a bulge under his coat. Trudy couldn’t tell what I it was, but it seemed to change Melinda’s whole attiude. Trudy could tell the man was dangerous, but had no idea what was under his thin button-up coat. She had a feeling she didn’t want to know either.

Melinda gulped, and then nodded. Mack smiled as if he had just won some game and pushed the door open. Melinda walked in and Mack did the same. Then Trudy, whose fear was paralyzing, saw something terrifying. Melinda turned, just once. Her eyes found Trudy’s immediately, as if she had known the woman was watching all along. With cherry red lips, she mouthed the word.

Help.

Killer

     I picked up this book only because I've been dying to know what happens next since the T.V. show took it's season break. I didn't expect it to be so greatly written, I  was only in it for the story line. But i was wrong. During this whole book, it's kept me thinking and guessing. The best thing about it was the fact that there was absolutely never a dull moment, never  a paragraph of thick text i just wanted to skip over to get to the good part. My mind was spinning, looking for the answers to puzzles with-in the books, trying to figure things out. I felt myself become transported in, and there wasn't a way out but to finish the book (not that I wanted out). The author lays things out in the book so expertly, and it never seems like the author got lazy and just threw some obvious clue in. Each character came alive to me, and i found myself constantly telling them what to do, before realizing they couldn't hear me. I got scared, excited, nervous, happy, felt every emotion of these character's, all due to the writers craft. And as i read, i noted that no character jumped out to me as hero or villain, good or bad, right or wrong. They all had layers and feelings, like real people, because to be honest i cannot find a single REAL person who could fit into any one archetype. Whether it be shape shifter or mentor or some other, no one seems so shallow that they only can be characterized to one. In this way, the authors bring the characters to life, making you love and hate them. And when you mix all these elements together, you  end up with this amazing, deep, layered story.