Spoiler Paragraph, Please Skip This Section of the Post if You Haven't Read the Book and Would Like to.
This post is based on the last side of the last audiotape, which is the big *twist* in the story. Hannah goes to Mr. Porter, the school guidance counselor, and tells him shes considering committing suicide. And, after talking for a few minutes he tells her to move on from the problems shes facing, that there's nothing she can do. Shes says, Okay she will, and she's done. Done with life. Done with everything. And Mr. Porter lets her walk out those doors, he doesn't make any moves to stop her.
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This was so confusing. Honestly, if I knew anyone was considering suicide I'd stop them. I don't care who it is, I would try to save their life, wouldn't you? Even the person I hate the most I would try to stop her/him from dying- from taking their own life. Maybe thats all some people need, just another person telling them not to do it, not to end their life. To know their needed or wanted may just be enough.
It reminds me of the song, "Leave Before the Lights Come on" by the Arctic Monkeys. The video is of this woman, who stands on a roof, contemplating suicide. She drops her left shoe on a man, giving him a chance to look up, know what she's doing, to save her. And of course, he does, as everyone will say they would. It ends up all she wants is attention, love from someone, something he can't give- he's engaged, and not interested in her that way. She follows him, trying to get him to love her and to want her, but he doesn't. So, she runs back to that very same building and repeats... She stands, looks down, and drops her left shoe...
If you want to watch it here's the link- you may not like the song but just watch the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEukS2YN9B8&feature=related
I've kind of felt like we all consider it at some points, but a second later I'm just like "God no, Im not ready to die! There's nothign in my life worth dying over. I can't believe I even thought that for a second- There so much more, so much I'll miss, so many people I'll miss- Plus I bet death is boring." Before I read this book I though suicide was just quitting. But now I realized how wrong I am. Sometimes people just can't bare living anymore, and they think anything would be better. Sometimes people think they're doing other people a favor, they feel everyone wants them dead. Sometimes all they need is someone there to stop them. The thought that someone would just ignore such a blatant plea for help makes me sick. It's like assisted suicide, even murder, knowing someone will kill themselves and not stopping it.
Maybe he didn't think he could stop her? But the fact that she was still alive that day meant that she wasn't fully ready... Maybe I'm just makign excuses for him?
But maybe there's something I don't know, a point or idea I hadn't thought of. Maybe there's some reason you can think of that someone wouldn't stop Hannah from killing herself.
Would you stop someone if you could? And if you don't, is that like murder?
If you or someone you know is or may be considering suicide, please call 1-800-SUICIDE, 212-532-2400, 1-800-273-TALK. There is treatment, and you can help stop someone from commiting suicide, or even stop yourself.
I loved your post and I too loved the book 13 reasons why. Even though I read it in 6th grade and forgot a lot about it, I still clearly remember that part about Mr. Porter. I agree the book was really, really confusing. I thought there was too much back and forth between the tapes. And you're connection to the video, and to your own life is truly thought provoking.
ReplyDeleteBut the best part about your post I thought was this: "Would you stop someone if you could? And if you don't, is that like murder?" those two questions are so thoughtful! And so is your thought of putting the hotline down.
Beautiful post, Amanda!
Wow. Stunning post with a deep topic. You really incorporated your own ideas in so eleqountly.
ReplyDeleteThe part about the Arctic Monkeys video really made me think. I always thought that suicide was extremely selfish- ending your life and not thinking about how it will affect others. I mean, no matter who you are, there is and will always be someone who you are the world to. People considering suicide should think about that, and try to go get some help, and confide in somebody, rather than ending it all despite the pain of others. (Anyone need a barf bag after that cheesy comment?)
Anyway, this post made me think about some of the aspects of suicide, one being wanting attention. If no one is paying attention to you while you're alive, maybe they will when you're dead. I once heard about a man who jumped bridge and left a note:
"I am going to walk all the way down the bridge. If just one person smiles at me, I will not jump."
At first, this made me really upset. Then I realized how silly it was. You don't smile at random strangers on the street. How would you expect a stranger smiling at you to define life and death? Probably because the jumper felt alone in the world and wanted someone to see and appreciate them.
P.S.-That jumper thing may have been an urban legend, but it still is relevant to my point.)
Hahah.
ReplyDeleteYou mean your idea? I completely stole that from your cutter post.
I actually started this book last year off recomendation, but I only got about half way through before the end of the year and i had to return it. I have been wanting to know what happens next since then, and it's kind of a relief now that I've finished it.
I HEARD ABOUT THIS BOOK!
ReplyDeleteIt seems pretty sad but like suspenseful
I like how you posted the suicide hotline at the end
Again Zarrin's idea
ReplyDelete@hannah. I didn't see your post because it was marked as spam for some reason.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I want to reply even though you probably won't see it. That jumping thing seems kind of silly yes, but in the same way, I feel just a tiny bit better, because at least there was a chance someone could save him.
True, usually in New York if someone is just standing aroung smilign at people, they're on something, but still, I get that he felt that maybe if just one person could smile at him/her he wasn't so terrible.
Also, I think a lot of times people who commit suicide think they're helping the world, that they're such terrible people that it would be better for everyone if they were gone. But yes, some people just do it for themselves.
Mentor text blog! <3
ReplyDeletei love this post.